In Sickness and in Health…
Happy Anniversary My Love!
Today is May 1 and the day that Nagib and I got married 30 years ago. We had planned to take a cruise to celebrate this event but this is something that we will need to postpone for now. As we go through the trials and tribulations of the cancers, our relationship has had to withstand interesting challenges.
The first month was probably the toughest. We were not equipped to deal with it. How do you prepare for something like this? All I wanted to do was wail and be unreasonable. Nagib wanted to deal with this rationally — I wasn’t there yet. Not much was making sense to us and Nagib’s approach — control what he could and tell me what I should do — was not working for me. We had to sit down many times and thrash out what was going to work for the both of us. How could I maintain my independence? How could I honour Nagib’s need that I look after myself. What support did I need? What was working and not working for us? How would I ask for help? How do we have some kind of normalcy in life? The answers did not come easily and we continued to talk; sometimes even argue. The key was to have honest conversations with no judgment, and putting things on the table. This was tough to do because there was so much emotion attached – uncertainty, fear, anxiety, concern. Over time, we have found our way through this and have come up with an approach that works for us.
A huge learning for us is that it is easy to be in a state of love when everything is right in your lives. It’s when you face challenges, that you have to work harder on your relationship. As Nagib reminds me, we promised to love each other “in sickness and in health…”
Nagib and I are diametrically opposite.
He likes structure and processes; I am a free spirit.
He is smart (member of MENSA, GMAT score in the 96th percentile) and knows everything about everything; I know a few things about some things and access the information I need from Nagib.
I have many friends; I am Nagib’s best friend.
He is the responsible one in our relationship; I am the fun factor in his life.
He lives in the world of rational thinking; I live in the world of curiosity and possibilities.
He is a planner with a vision; I am an implementer who gets things done.
Together we make an unbeatable team. We respect each other’s strengths and operate from the same set of values. We bring out the best in each other.
So today I say Happy 30th Anniversary to my love, my friend, my partner, my life – Nagib.
- Thank you for organizing my hospital schedules and sending meeting invites so we don’t miss appointments.
- Thank you for organizing my pill box so I take the right amount of medication each day.
- Thank you for checking my temperature every day.
- Thank you for cuddling and holding me and making me feel very safe.
- Thank you for taking me shopping (even though you hate shopping) to get clothes that fit me.
- Thank you for kissing my bald head every morning and telling me I am beautiful.
- Thank you for walking this journey with me, every moment, every day.