In Sickness and in Health…

Happy Anniversary My Love! 

Today is May 1 and the day that Nagib and I got married 30 years ago.  We had planned to take a cruise to celebrate this event but this is something that we will need to postpone for now.  As we go through the trials and tribulations of the cancers, our relationship has had to withstand interesting challenges. 

The first month was probably the toughest.  We were not equipped to deal with it.  How do you prepare for something like this?  All I wanted to do was wail and be unreasonable.  Nagib wanted to deal with this rationally — I wasn’t there yet.  Not much was making sense to us and Nagib’s approach — control what he could and tell me what I should do — was not working for me.  We had to sit down many times and thrash out what was going to work for the both of us.  How could I maintain my independence?  How could I honour Nagib’s need that I look after myself.  What support did I need? What was working and not working for us?  How would I ask for help?  How do we have some kind of normalcy in life?  The answers did not come easily and we continued to talk;  sometimes even argue.  The key was to have honest conversations with no judgment, and putting things on the table.  This was tough to do because there was so much emotion attached – uncertainty, fear, anxiety, concern.  Over time, we have found our way through this and have come up with an approach that works for us. 

A huge learning for us is that it is easy to be in a state of love when everything is right  in your lives.  It’s when you face challenges, that you have to work harder on your relationship.  As Nagib reminds me, we promised to love each other “in sickness and in health…”

Nagib and I are diametrically opposite.

He likes structure and processes; I am a free spirit.

He is smart (member of MENSA, GMAT score in the 96th percentile) and knows everything about everything; I know a few things about some things and access the information I need from Nagib.

I have many friends; I am Nagib’s best friend.

He is the responsible one in our relationship; I am the fun factor in his life.

He lives in the world of rational thinking; I live in the world of curiosity and possibilities.

He is a planner with a vision; I am an implementer who gets things done.

Together we make an unbeatable team.  We respect each other’s strengths and operate from the same set of values.  We bring out the best in each other.

 So today I say Happy 30th Anniversary to my love, my friend, my partner, my life – Nagib.

  • Thank you for organizing my hospital schedules and sending meeting invites so we don’t miss appointments.
  • Thank you for organizing my pill box so I take the right amount of medication each day.
  • Thank you for checking my temperature every day.
  • Thank you for cuddling and holding me and making me feel very safe.
  • Thank you for taking me shopping (even though you hate shopping) to get clothes that fit me.
  • Thank you for kissing my bald head every morning and telling me I am beautiful.
  • Thank you for walking this journey with me, every moment, every day. 

 My heart still sings when I see you each day.  And we will beat the cancers and live a long, happy, healthy life together.

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62 thoughts on “In Sickness and in Health…”

  1. Congratulations on 30 years of marriage – you are both an inspiration to the rest of us as we strive to have the relationship you have lived for 30 years!

  2. Happy Happy Happy Happy Anniversary. Munira Mukhiani, first of all you haven’t changed a a bit from your wedding picture….just a new hairstyle. My goodness, Nagib Mukhi, you look fantastic then and now. I can’t believe how much Shayne looks like you in your wedding picture!!!
    To a couple who just “FIT”. Your love for each other will pass this test of time. I haven’t seen a more wonderful, loving, generous, thoughtful and perfect couple as the 2 of you!!!
    Enjoy this day together and may you have many, many, many, many more Anniversaries to celebrate with each other. Ameen.
    With all our love,
    Arif, Dilshad, Nareesa and Tahara

  3. I totally 100% agree with Jo… Trully a role model for many of us out there…
    I see your wedding pic, shy girl, ehh…

    Beautifully written Muni… Loved every line of it…mwaa!!

  4. Congratulations on 30 years of your marriage.Our prayers are with you.Remember you are not alone in this fight I am confident we will beat this cancer!!
    Yasmin and Nazim.

  5. To an exceptionally wonderful couple – Happy 30th Anniversary! Love you both and praying for your good health, happiness, love, innner peace and lots of laughter!

  6. Happy anniversary Munira and Najib. I am happy to see that you are there for each other. It is key element for recovery…and if sometimes you argue, keep in mind it is a good sign…and means that Munira has the energy and strenght to do so 🙂 Have a wonderful day.

  7. Congradulations on 30 years of marriage! Guess what? I moved in with my boyfriend this weekend! Like you and your husband, we are also opposite and sometimes I wonder how we will face our differences. You are the perfect example… Again, you always know how to inspire me “ma chère” Munira 🙂
    Take care…

    1. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,yes, yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!! You made my day Isabella! I am thinking perhaps one suitcase at a time and then you tell me you have totally moved in! I am beyond thrilled! I think life is so much richer when you have someone special to share it with. Munira

  8. To a wonderful couple a very very Happy 30th wedding anniversary! Such a wonderful milestone! Sending you lots of love,prayers for a happy life filled with good health,happiness and may you have lots of happy anniversaries!! May the coming year be full of fun, laughter ,peace and strength.
    Happy Anniversary !

  9. Wow, very beautifully expressed. It has so much meaning!..

    Wishing you everything thats just as special as you are!!!.. Have a great day!

    Lots of love…

  10. Dear Mukhianima and Mukhisaheb,

    Congratulations and best wishes on your 30th anniversary! We pray that you will have many many MANY more anniversaries together, and that you will soon be able to make it on that cruise!
    As usual, our prayers are always with you.

    Shamim and Zul.

  11. Congratulations and a very happy 30th anniversary to you both with lots of love, good wishes and prayers for good health, happiness and Ameen to “we will beat the cancers and live a long, happy, healthy life together”

  12. Munira – this is so wonderful. You have articulated what true love really is – it is a bond that survives all trials and tribulaitons. Mowla so aptly said it: no mountain is high enough, no river wide enough, no distances far enough. Mashallah you two have true love. Keep the flame burning. Our prayers are with you, May Mowla give you both strength, courage and fortitude to overcome this challenge in your lives. Best Mahbanu and Yasmin Ratansi

    1. I so love hearing from you. You always know the right things to say. Nagib and I are learning to work through this in a way that we do not waste precious time and energy. I am blessed to have a pretty incredible life partner! Munira

  13. A very Happy Anniversary to the loving couple, may you have many many more Ameen! I truly admire you guys, you are made for each other!! btw did you get married in Silver Jubilee? This is my 30th year too and i got married in Silver jubilee when Mowla came to Nairobi. I

  14. Congratulations to both of you Munira and Nagib for your 30th anniversary! Your “in sickness and in health” is very touching. It is inspiring. 🙂

  15. Wishing you both a very Happy Anniversary. You are both truly very special and we wish you a life filled with Happiness and Love.

  16. Mubaraki, sometimes I fear and not share too much ,remember the word”Chonjo puno” ha!
    iShukar mowla every minute, and you will find even more strength!
    never ever look back ,
    Mukhianimaa, I would like to share 10 life changing habits (Oprah’s words)

    1)practice gratitude,2)delete the negative,3)trade expectation for appreciation(appreciate what others do for you,but dont expect),4)failure is the result of lack of resourcefullness,5)pay attention to energy and emotions6),live in pain(make room in your life to be yur best you)7)change is good, i.e. if life throws you a curve ball, look at experience as opportunity,8)Happiness is contagious,(surround yourself with happy people, steer clear of people who bring the worst out of you)
    you are a great inspiration and may Mowla give you even more shakti and barakaa

  17. Wishing you a Happy 30th Anniversary. You are a role model to us all and give hope to all the women around the world.

    Shama

  18. Happy 30th Aniversary Munira and Najib and congratulations on reaching such an incredible milestone. We continue to pray for the health and well being of you and your family. Your continued commitment to face this adversary together is truely inspiring. Stay in positive spirits and inshallah, by May 1, 2013, you two will be cruising the oceanic waves together.

    Nazim, Parin, Sharmin, and Farhan Dadani.

  19. Wishing you both a Very Happy 30 years and many more to come!
    May Mowla bless you with love,unity and yes goooooooooood Health…Ameen
    Inshallah you will soon be able to celebrate and go on your dream cruise

    Shafina

  20. Dear Munira and Nagib,

    The contrast and the similarities between your before and after 30-year photos are just incredible! They speak a thousand words each, in the same but different languages. You simply look beautiful together– now and then. I can only imagine the milestones you’ve achieved, the journeys you’ve shared, and the memories you’ve cherished.
    Together, you’ve proven that happiness is not a destination but a way of life. Together, you reflect that the more you invest in a relationship, the more valuable it becomes. Together, you will beat the odds and conquer!

    Wishing you many more years of togetherness,

    Deva

  21. As a 23 year old terrified of commitment, your blog is a constant reminder of why we must face our vulnerability (our fears, emotions, ego etc) in order to be blessed by the boundless love of others. Putting words to paper and vocalizing your dreams is not easy – especially not via online blog. You’re courage is tremedously inspiring (as your 30,000 fans will attest). Love, Alia

    1. My dearest Alia. Can I like officially adopt you? I’ve always thought of you asmy daughter, we should just make it official! Yes I havel learned that the beauty and essence of life is in sharing of lives joys, challenges, dreams, vulnerabilities, fears, brilliance with others. Otherwise life can be so one dimensional. And no man or woman is an island! Really tough week Alia. Very fatigued. Slowly returning to a tiny bit of energy today. Hemoglobin is 102 after the blood transfusion which is good. White cells is only .2 Munira

  22. Wow! 30 years. Huge congratulations. I think so many wonderful marriages are made through opposites. Opposites make people more appreciative, more challenged, more challenging and more respectful. My husband and I are opposites in so many ways but we have grown as a result. Munira and Nagib, you are so strong in your own ways for each other and it is inspirational. Thinking of you lots and lots. Annette xxxx

    1. Hi Annette I had been meaning to connect with you to let you know what was going on with me. I had heard that you were back in Chicago . When your travels bring you to Toronto, I would love to see you. Good perspective on relationships! Munira

  23. Dear Munira and Nagib,
    The Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung, wrote ‘The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.’ My impression is that your reaction not only transformed each of you, but so many of those around you. Your love is an inspiration.
    Happy Anniversary.
    I miss you dearly.
    Warm hugs from Zurich
    Irene

    1. Warm hugs back Irene. I know you have called a couple of times and we have not been able to connect in person. And I am doubly sorry that I could not see you when you were in Toronto. The day you were available to meet was the same day that Sabrina was leaving for Africa. Love your take on relationships! I like transformation – it’s very Harry potter like. Munira

  24. DEAREST MUNI,
    WE ARE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWRDS THIS DREADED DISEASE AND HOW YOU ARE FIGHTING IT.WE PRAY TO MOWLA TO GIVE YOU STRENGTH AND PRAY TO HIM TO SHOWER HIS BLESSINGS ONTO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DURING THESE TOUGH TIMES AND WE WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY,LOVE YOU ALL ALWAYS.

    HIRANI FAMILY -CALGARY
    IMMI,RUBINA,AZMAIRA AND FARIZAH

    1. So nice to hear from you Immy. Thanks so much for your prayers and your support. It means the world to me. Some days are tough. Some days are great. Learning to accept each day as it comes. Immi – I feel so optimistic that I can beat this dreaded disease with Gods mercy. Muni

  25. Dear Munira and Nagib,
    In a few hours you will be celebrating 30 years plus one week of marriage. Thanks for sharing the celebration of your 30th anniversary with the world! And for those of us who read your blog, you have some wonderful reminders of the dance that two people in love embrace as they live their lives together. Sometimes one leads, sometimes it’s the other, sometimes you choose not to follow, and you break out in your own unique style – still looking your partner deep in the eyes and seeing the reasons why your bond is so tight.

    You are a beautiful couple, and I’m thankful that I have had the opportunity to see the love between you (as a more recent friend to the Premji family). Happy Anniversary. Wishing you another 30 years of love, playfulness, growth and deep friendship.

    XOXO Barb

    1. Dearest Barb. Thank you for your beautiful note about the connection of dance. Right now we are learning new steps, some comfortable, some less so. And then there is the mambo, and the salsa…..so much to look forward to! Love. Munira

  26. Happy Belated Anniversary Muni and Nagib. I know that you will have at least 30 more years of marriage, and then some! You are in our prayers and thoughts daily. Sending you positive vibes for a quick recovery. Muni, you are amazing and so is your family. May Allah help you all through this journey and continue to infuse you with strength, hope, health and happiness.
    Love,

    Fatima, Riyaz and Family

  27. Munira – amazing! I hope you and Nagib celebrated a wonderful 30th anniversary. Truly an inspiration to us all. Steve and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary in a few weeks and it’s great to hear that after 30 years you can still be like newly weds together : ) Thinking of you every day Munira.

    1. Hi Barbara. So great to hear from you! It’s funny but I have been thinking of you this past week. Would love to hear (believe it or not!), how the convergence program is going. Miss you too! Munira

      1. Munira – just saw your reply. I am actually in a new role now (since May) so not really as involved with the CVG program per say but am now a Project Manager for one of the four Convergence projects. Very different than my previous role but a good change I think. I still think back to our impromptu coaching session you gave me at the Newark airport – remember? Definitely some good advice! Still thinkIng about the bed and breakfast idea for the future… Take care and hope to see you soon.

  28. Hi Premji Family. I follow this blog from Kenya and it is truly inspirational. Be encouraged and blessed for reaching many more so warmly.

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